Shower epiphanies, vol. 1

Throughout my life I've always wondered, why are we born with certain desires? 


Why do some of us want to build, and others want to lead?


Why were we created with an urge inside of us so powerful that we dream of it day after day, year after year?


Yes, there are so wishes that we have as children, some of us want to be ballerinas, and cops, and superheroes. Some of us outgrow those ambitions and grow to desire to be something or someone else. 


But my question is why do we have them? And more importantly, why do some of us have dreams that aren't a part of our design? How can a person want more than anything to be a supermodel, but be born too short? Or want to be a part of the military, and unable to because of, maybe a neurological disorder completely out of their control? 


Or even worse. Be the best dancer the world has ever seen, but never given the right opportunity? 


My faith teaches me that we were created layer by layer by God, but that we also decide whether or not to go against His grain. 


But... why? 


I have this deep, unwavering desire to sing. Sometimes I'm tired, there were times I'd get so sad that music was the last thing I wanted. But I've wanted to singer longer than I've wanted to do anything else. What if that's a dream that will never come true? Why do I want to do it so badly? If I was destined for something else? Why isn't THAT the thing I want more than anything to do?


*shrug*


I don't know. But it's late. Gotta get up and at 'em earlier than I'd like to tomorrow. 


I'll be pondering this though. 


God, if you've got anything for me, you know I'm quite oblivious and the answer is going to have to show up in the form of guns blazing, and a confetti madness parade for me to get it. But, I don't have to tell you that. You get me better than anyone.