From the delicious instrumentals and soul stirring melodies, I inhale and exhale like smoke and the vapors sustain me. Without it I fall deeper and deeper into the debilitating gravity of life. So, I take in as much music as I can. I hold onto it and protect it for safekeeping.
Last night, I went out with some friends for a birthday celebration at a restaurant where another friend of mine performed with her band. She and I talked about me performing with them and I couldn't have been more anxious and excited if I tried. But I had to keep myself together. There was still a chance that it wouldn't pan out and I'd be left feeling disappointed.
I stood by the stage losing my mind and jumping around in my new pair of sky high red suede pumps. Suddenly, lead singer, Meghan is calling me onstage to sing. Sure, I completely forgot the words to the song I was singing, but nonetheless, the moment was everything I needed. By the time I'd gotten hoisted into the air by my 6 foot tall, at least 4 inches in her shoes friend, and made it off the stage, I felt so intoxicated by the feeling of being able to sing in front of a crowd that gave a shit that I all but passed out.
IT WAS AMAZING
And the best part? It didn't end after that. I got two more chances to redeem myself and get out all of my anxieties and sadness and conflicts I'd been internalizing and for the few moments that it lasted, it made the biggest difference in my life.
Music isn't just a drug, it's a prescription. Each dose heals me. It's my favorite type of high.